final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
wow bdsm is so cute
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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