Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
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He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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