So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
