ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
