problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Small penises have feelings too.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
