She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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