exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize