I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
