It's Friday. Sex?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
