And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
