You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
