It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
