Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
