Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
