just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
