i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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