oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
