So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
