So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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