Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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