ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
