And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
