What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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