Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
