If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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