Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
