I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
