i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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