I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
