I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
