how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
