Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I haven't been this sober since birth.
smell my finger.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
