Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
