is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
