I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
