Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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