I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
