you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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