you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
