Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
