I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
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