I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
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i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
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she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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