You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
