I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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