you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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