After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
