is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
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She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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