With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he was CRYING into my vagina
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she pinky promised me she was 18
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
