if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
