Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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