New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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