I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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