dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
