Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
