I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
