Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Less talking, more tequila
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
