I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
