you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize