All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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