she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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