so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
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I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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