we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
