i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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