We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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