i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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