I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
