Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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